


Silent consent

by creativwritingmind



Series: Two [57]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of Noncon but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 22:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12921876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativwritingmind/pseuds/creativwritingmind





	Silent consent

Dizzy, Josh feels so dizzy when he realizes all of his friends have left already. It's late probably, it was already late when the little party in Panics' dressing room started, by now it must be the early hour of the mornings. For a brief second Josh wonders why no one came to pick him up and tell him to get in the van, that they need to go on. Somewhere between other fractures of thoughts he reminds they have a down day tomorrow. Thinking is hard though, it makes the surroundings spin, so he tries to focus on something else. For a while Josh settles on observing Dallon, who tries to proove a point to a girl he doesn't know, maybe she's a fan, but Josh assumes she's not...none of them is dumb enough to bring a fan to one of this backstage parties. Watching them calms the drummer down, Dal always radiates a kind of stableness. Brendon, on the other hand, is a master in destroying this peace. It's kind of violently how he crushes into Josh when he falls down on the couch beside him, taking a deep drag of a bottle with whatever and burping loudly. It's disgusting, but only a little. It's not like Josh wouldn't show this "boyish" behaviour often enough himself. Still scrunching his nose he shakes his head at that, and Brendon laughs, crashing his arm around the drummers shoulder. "Joshieeeeeeeeeeeboyyyyyyyyyy! You look way too sober to me!" The bottle is placed in his hand, but Josh doesn't take a swing. He has had enough already, he decides, when he tries to move a little out of Brendons personal action zone but fails. Moving is only making him sick right now. It's better to stay put. And somehow, Brendons arm helps. At least it feels like there's something not spiraling, but static. 

The party goes on around them, as time does. Josh looses the minutes, he's not entirely sure if the clock on the wall isn't broken and counts faster then it should, because he doesn't think it takes him so long to decide that he wants to go to sleep. The idea is there for a while but when he ponders to actually act about it, it's like four in the morning and Dallon has vanished with that stranger girl. Damn, Tyler should have taken him with him when he went, Josh thinks. But then, again, he doesn't want to be around Ty when he's on the phone with his girlfriend, it makes him feel a little lonely lately, and that's not a road Josh wants to go down at the moment. He registers there are only two other people left with him and Brendon, and they are kind of drifting away. Maybe it's best to also lie down and fall asleep just where he is. They are safe here, aren' they? The venues security is right outside the hallway. Josh closes his eyes and sinks a little further into the warmth beside him. His lids fly open again when he recognizes why the spot beside him is comforting that way. Brendon is still there, but he has gone silent. Not in an unpleasant way though. He's just sitting there, perfectly still, starring at the table. Josh does raise his head a little, and their eyes meet. There's a spark in Brendons eyes and suddenly Josh feels something strange in his guts. If time had been running before it stands still now. He does recognize that the singers arm falls off his shoulders and crawls around his waist. He does totally get that Brendon leans in. But it's surreal. It's surreal, and he's drunk and this doesn't feel good. This doesn't feel good at all. Josh panics when Brendons lips meet his, when the arm around his waist is thigthens, still he doesn't pull away. He's too shocked, too intoxicated, too weak to think straight. It isn't even so uncomfortable, the way Brens tongue parts his lips, he kind of lacked that kind of human contact for a while now. It's not a "Dude! WHAT THE FUCK!" - moment, it's more that he's confused. Josh doesn't want this, he thinks. The familiar twitch in his pants as Brendon presses him down on his back says otherwise. The singer is gentle when he starts to bite his neck, Josh can't complain about that, Brendon pays attention to not leave marks. In a way Josh still wishes he would bite him properly, so he would have a reason to cry out. It's too silent in here, there's the snore of the guy on the couch across the room, but Brendons breath and little noises are so soft...Josh doesn't want to violate him by cutting him off roughly. Bren doesn't mean to push him, he just get the signs wrong the drummer assumes, desperatly trying to think of a way to decline this affection politely. Words die down in his throat when Brendon comes back up, when there's a kiss again, one he can't file, because he doesn't know how he finds it really. There are hands under his shirt and Josh shivers, another too vague sign, another too doublesided reaction. Brendon smiles, he's happy, he feels confirmed. Josh wants to shake his head, to tell him that no, this is not him shuddering out of lust, this is him in full fear. But he can't. He can't get this across, not after he has tolerated Brendons actions for so long. He's disconnected from his body, until there's suddenly a hand down his pants. Shit, when did that happen? Josh doesn't mean to whimper, still he does, he doesn't mean to squirm but his body naturally acts to the stimulation, while his mind screams full force at him to fucking do something, anything, to get out of there before more harm is done. Instead of that Josh closes his eyes, drags his arms across his chest and lets it happen, tears forming behind his lids but never breaking through. 

And  then, out of a sudden, there's a halt. There's air, where a body was before. There's nothing restraining, no weight on his hips, no fingers in his hair, no lips on his skin. Josh blinks, arms still slung around himself, the trembling now all over him, from his toes to his fingers up to his scalp, he's shaking, and he doesn't even fight the urge to cry anymore. Brendons face is blurred through his tears, still he get's the way his friend stares down at him, and it's not anger, not disappointment displayed in there. It's regret. Slowly, very slowly Brendon reaches forward. He zips Joshs pants back up, closes the button, loops the belt back in. He sits back when this is done, sinking into himself, his hands resting on his thighs, his posture still welcoming. "You are not ok with this." he states, biting his lip on the way Josh breaks at that, openly sobbing now, crawling back until his back hits the wall and dragging his knees to his chest. Looking to the ground for a moment Brendon gives a "Fuck!" and Josh knows it's not for him, the singer curses himself out and he is so, so relieved by this gesture, although he's still terrified. It's not Brendon that triggers his fear. It's himself. "I...I...havn't...I...I didn't say no." he stutters, offering an excuse, not wanting the other to take the full blame but Brendon gives him a sharp look, one that silences him immediately. "No, Joshua! You will not make this your shame! I didn't ask! I just assumed....I was wrong. I'm sorry. Do you want me to call Ty so he can come and get you? I...really don't think you should be alone right now." Nodding quietly Josh closes his eyes again. The world is still spinning. He's still drunk as hell. This is still surreal. He will deal with all of that tomorrow, when he's sober. For right now, he's just grateful Brendon is a real friend. 


End file.
